


distress is not a normal state

by Cancer



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 09:37:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19196269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cancer/pseuds/Cancer
Summary: The one where Eddie learns to relax and Venom maybe panics a little





	distress is not a normal state

Eddie hasn't relaxed in so long he doesn't remember what it was like. He never did learn to meditate, not only because he didn't have the time but because he was incapable of the peace of mind that's required for that kind of activity. He hasn't relaxed since before Anne dumped him, in all honesty. He doesn't think he's relaxed since he started journalism. It didn't bother him, in the beginning, he likes the excitement, the adrenaline. He likes knowing he will have something to write after everything is over, but writing is not necessarily a relaxing activity, it's actually quite stressing, trying to get the words right and all the information in place when his notes can be a mess and a bitch to read sometimes. And there's no relaxing in between either, when he doesn't have some news to read or something to write, because by then he's too worked up to take a deep breath and let it go, he'd go over the same thing again and again in his head for weeks, and by the time he realizes it's okay and it doesn't matter anymore, the job is done, he already has another job to do.

That's what it was like, before Anne, and when Anne. After Anne everything was a constant mess and he had to worry about his savings eventually disappearing because nobody wanted to give him a job. There was no relaxing then. There is no relaxing when you're poor. There was no relaxing when he was a child either when his father decided to get drunk, and there sure as hell is no relaxing in college.

And then there was Venom.

And it's funny because Eddie hasn't been in so much danger before in his life, like, actually in danger of immediately dying a horrible and bloody death, but he's also never felt as safe as he does with Venom.

It feels weird at first. He suddenly realizes there are no knots on his back, his shoulders feel loose, his eyes are rested, his face feels soft. He stops grinding his teeth in his sleep. It almost feels like he's high, but he hasn't had money to actually get high in a while, and when he thinks about Venom's possible reaction to being high, he laughs a little. Softly. A chuckle. He feels ridiculous for it afterward, but he can't help it.

The first time he's so relaxed he's about to fall sleep on the couch Venom freaks out.

" **EDDIE** ," they practically scream at him.

They don't usually scream at Eddie anymore unless they're having an argument, usually about something dumb like how many bars of chocolate are too many and why they can't eat just the same thing for three days straight even if it's filling and delicious. They don't argue about the big stuff, and Eddie doesn't startle when Venom talks, hasn't since pretty much the second day Venom started talking to him. It should frighten him, he thinks, to have gotten used to it so soon, but it doesn't. It does startle him though, when he's almost already dreaming and feeling completely boneless on the couch. He jumps where he's sitting, his heart on his throat and eyes unfocused and wide. "What, what, what is it."

He doesn't fully panic immediately because he knows that if something were truly wrong if he were in immediate danger, Venom wouldn't call his name, they would protect him without question. They would protect him even if he didn't want to be protected. Venom says he's the only host they need, they would never let anything happen to him, they need him. Eddie wasn't sure exactly what they meant by that but he can feel them, inside him, they like him in a way that Eddie can't quite pinpoint just yet, a way that feels like it should be scary but isn't, like it shouldn't be normal but feels like it should _be_. They want to keep him forever and Eddie finds that he doesn't seem to mind. It's a strange feeling, to trust himself so much because he trusts the being living inside him.

" **Eddie, our body feels strange** ," Eddie touches his chest on reflex, calming down a little now that he's more awake.

"Strange? What do you mean strange? Are we sick again?" Venom doesn't let him get sick anymore. The first time he got the flu Venom got rid of it the moment they realized something was wrong inside them, Eddie didn't get past the light burning behind his eyelids and the itchy nose that he gets right before it hits him. It was nice, realizing he wouldn't get sick anymore; no more silly flu that takes him down for three days straight, no more feeling crappy in bed drinking canned chicken soup. He complained about it though, out of principle, "It's part of the human experience! You get sick, you get someone to slowly nurse you back to health, and then you get better! Your body gets stronger because of it!"

“ **Nonsense. We can nurse you back to health in no time. Humans are dumb.”**

And that was it. Eddie still hopes Venom changes their mind sometime, so they can get sick together and then get better together. It is a dumb thought, but an endearing one, he thinks. He doesn't tell Venom that it is sometimes how you show someone you love them, by slowly making them feel better, that is the process what builds the relationship. He knows Venom would find it dumb still. Inefficient. They are already one.

 **“Your heart rate slowed down. Your brain stopped several functions. We do not know how to fix it, Eddie,”** Venom doesn't interfere with most functions, they've recognized that once humans have gotten out of their own way, human bodies are designed to fix themselves, to synchronize to perfection to make all systems work. Eddie thinks Venom rather likes to explore inside his body, but he tries not to think about it too much, and he also doesn't think Venom is ready to explain it in a way Eddie can understand it. That they like the human body for something other than food; that they find it interesting.

"What do you mean, are we dying?" He doesn't think they're actually dying but it's the only thing he can think to ask in that moment, almost a reflex.

**“Don’t be stupid Eddie, we would not let you die.”**

"You just said you don't know how to fix it!" Venom is silent for a moment; Eddie can feel them roaming around inside.

**“It is back to normal now.”**

"Jesus fuck, V, you scared the shit out of me." Eddie slumps back onto the cushions and exhales all the air he finds he was holding. Venom is still nervous, he can feel it, an uncertainty that doesn't belong to him. Eddie is fine, he feels perfectly fine. Now that Venom has gone quiet Eddie lets all his muscles unclench, stretches his legs and scratches his belly. His hair is a bit damp from the shower and his shirt feels soft against his skin, his sweatpants are just the right amount of loose, and even though he knows Venom is still freaking out a little, he feels safe, content. So he closes his eyes and it's when it hits him. He feels like crying, suddenly, so he smiles instead, feeling his eyes burn.

Venom has never been fully relaxed before. At least not inside a human body. Eddie knows that Venom has emotions of their own and that their race experiences emotions differently than humans do. Things are strange when they're by themselves. Maybe even uncomfortable.

Venom is distressed right now and Eddie wants to cry because he knows, pulling the air out of his lungs and feeling all of his muscles relax and his brain be quiet. He knows that, just like him, Venom has lived in a constant state of anxiety and distress for longer than they can remember—if they ever even lived in any other state at some point of their life. Venom has been alive way longer than Eddie has, possibly longer than humanity itself, but they've been outcast since little after the moment they learned how to think by themselves. Venom likes company, and they're not meant to like it. They're not meant to share; They're meant to take and consume.

Eddie hasn't been relaxed in the longest time, but he's imagined what it would be like, has seen it in other people, that complete state of relaxation that some people can achieve by just breathing deeply and letting it go. He wants to tell Venom that is okay, but he doesn't really know how, he's got a lump in his throat but his shoulders feel soft and comfortable.

"V, darling, come out here," he says when he finally can talk. He can tell Venom still feels unease, because even though everything went 'back to normal' as they said (and what they meant was that Eddie was in a low-key state of panic again, that still hasn't fully gone away at the moment because a complete state of relaxation is not easy when your body has been conditioned for years to be in the complete opposite state, even if now it happens unconsciously), they still don't know why it happened.

Venom comes out and looks at him, and Eddie thinks that if they had any eyebrows they would be frowning.

"It's okay V. We are fine. Our body is fine. This is how we are supposed to feel all the time unless something is wrong."

**“That makes no sense, Eddie.”**

"This is what humans are supposed to feel like, love. We're supposed to be relaxed," and because he decides fuck it, he goes for broke. "You make me feel safe, darling."

Venom thinks for a second and then asks, **“This is your natural state.”** It doesn’t sound like a question because they're either still not very good at those or they just don't like them. Eddie suspects the second. **“This is stupid. All your systems were shutting down.”**

"Yes, because we're safe. You make my body feel like it can let go so now it starts a natural state of rest. Like sleep, but awake."

**“This is normal then”**

"Ideally, yes"

 **“You were not normal before,”** it's a loaded question because he would have to explain the concept of normal to Venom and that's more complicated than Eddie wants to deal with at the moment or at any moment in the future.

"We were normal for someone who doesn't feel safe. But we feel safe now, so it's okay, we're fine, the systems are not shutting down."

**“You should have said so, Eddie. We would have fixed it before”**

"It's something you fix slowly, love. And you did. You are fixing it." Eddie doesn’t say he didn’t know; doesn’t say that it’s something that’s gone on for so long he didn’t realize it needed to be fixed.  

Venom doesn't say anything else; they go back inside in silence, but Eddie can feel them settle low in his belly. Maybe Venom will have the chance to learn to let it go sometime, Eddie thinks. He hopes. Maybe they both can breathe out their worries soon too.


End file.
